Childhood Dream Realized

I don't know what it is about adults asking kids what they want to be when they grow up, but I'm pretty sure that question has been around since the beginning of time. I wonder if Adam and Eve's kids fantasized about being snake charmers (too soon?) or if Noah's son dreamed of being of vet. Throughout my whole life, I don't think I've ever expressed more than 2 or 3 answers to that questions. Unlike most kids who change their answer between morning snack and brunch, I stuck to my guns. I was sure I knew what I wanted to do. Or at least I was sure I knew what everyone told me I wanted to do. I wanted to be a teacher (real original, right?). I'm not sure what fascinated me so much about the teaching profession. Oh wait, yes I do--Summers. Off. What kid wouldn't be attracted by that tantalizing offer??

Then I grew up and realized teaching combines two of my worst fears--having all the attention on me and speaking in public--and quickly changed career paths. (More on that later, but my second choice wasn't a much better fit for me... )Anyway, back to teaching. I REALLY dislike speaking in public. It doesn't matter how big my audience is or how old they are. I would rather give up ice cream for the rest of my life than speak in public. Okay, maybe that's a teensy bit drastic, especially considering I'd rather lose my left pinky than give up ice cream for life, but it's a close third. Every time I go to speak in front of people, I experience the classic symptoms of anxiety--my heart starts beating like it's trying to set some Olympic record I'm not aware of, I sweat more than the people doing BWW blazin' wings challenge, words cease to enter my mind, and my face decides to have a contest with the nonexistent lobster in the room to see who can become redder. I'm always surprised anyone actually understands anything I said when I finally get done. Or maybe they don't and they're just too polite to say anything to the girl who looks like she just got done climbing Mount Everest after giving a 3-5 minute speech about herself.

But then something very strange happens. As soon as I finish presenting whatever information I was forced to convey to a room full of people who probably couldn't care less, I forget the entire ordeal. It's like it never even happened. I don't mean I just put it behind me and pretend I gave a performance that rivaled the likes of this guy. I mean I literally forget the entire experience. I can't tell you if I covered all my points or if my transitions made sense or if anyone was actually listening to me. It's like my mind represses the memory before I even have the chance to decide if it needs to be repressed or not as I'm sure this well known girl wishes she could do.

At this point, I'm sure you're all thinking "that's great, Jordan. So don't take a job where you have to speak in front of large groups of people. Doesn't seem that hard. Why are you rambling on about this?" Well my faithful reader(s?), I'm glad you asked (but I'm more glad that I asked for you because I like being able to answer my own questions. I take after Dwight in this. Remember in season 7, episode 23 after he shoots the gun off in the office and has this conversation with Jo? Dwight: Okay. Did I make a mistake? Yes. Do I regret the decision that I made? Yes. Jo: Oh, stop asking yourself easy questions so you can look like a genius.) And now that I've successfully lost everyone who doesn't watch The Office and am starting to lose even those of you who have, HERE'S THE PURPOSE OF THE WHOLE POST! Thanks for hanging in there, but I did promise more rambling ;)

Tomorrow my childhood dream will be realized, despite not going to college for teaching and not conquering my fear of sharing my thoughts with a room full of people. But none of that really matters because I've been given the opportunity to help out in a religious education class every Wednesday night! That's right. This little convert (revert? baptized-as-a-baby-but-didn't-receive-first-communion-or-confirmation-for-22-more years-er?) is going to be helping out in the 1st grade classroom at a nearby parish. Apparently God thought it was time for me to conquer a fear or two, so please pray for the souls of the little first graders who are stuck blessed with my presence all year ;) Lucky for me, I don't think the kids will care too much if I say 'um' every other word or don't stare into each of their eyes the whole time. Plus I think it's going to be a ton of fun! I'll be sure to let you know all about it.

And now for some pictures so that I can attempt to live up to my self-named blog

This sweet drawing was in the bar we went to for my uncle's birthday. So many questions raised...

Mom wanted to make sure the twins made it home safely.

 That's all for tonight, friends. Thank you for your support.