"No one has ever become poor by giving." (Anne Frank)

I can't remember how many times I was asked last winter/spring if I had ever been on a FOCUS conference. Every time I turned around, I heard someone else talking about how great of an experience it was. In fact, I've never heard anything other than positive comments about the conferences, nor have I ever had anyone tell me not to go. Anyone who's ever been to one comes back and raves about it. Unfortunately, I didn't have the opportunity to go last year, but this year it falls on the week right before I start my internship so I went ahead and signed up! I can't wait to see what all the hype is about.

Buuuut, before I'm able to board a bus full of fellow Catholics (we'll talk about the 20+hour ride later...), I have to help fundraise our travel expenses, which consisted of sending out 30 letters to friends and family asking them for donations. I've never been more aware of my lack of community than I was while trying to come up with a list of 30 individuals...I don't have a parish I grew up in at home, so I don't have a pool of old CCD teachers or youth group leaders to pull from. So after shamelessly looking up distant relatives' addresses on whitepages.com, I knew I'd need a more radical approach. I started going through my phone's address book, and fortunately, I haven't purged it of all past contacts who I haven't called in years. As a result, I came up with a VERY random group of who will be receiving a nice little letter from me. This group includes guys I went on a couple of dates with, relatives of a friend's ex-boyfriend, women I knew in high school who I haven't seen since they graduated, Muslim friends, a best friend's boyfriend's friend who I met once (only 3 degrees of separation! haha), and someone I used to sit next to in a college class. Honestly, I was amazed that some of these people agreed to give me their addresses (and some of them even gave me addresses of their friends!). It was a really humbling experience. I always get so nervous about the prospect of asking people for money. Every time I mention it to my mom or grandma, they tell me how horrible the economy is and how stretched people are for money right now, especially since it's so close to the holiday season. Even having a number of friends who have to fundraise their ENTIRE SALARY doesn't offer that much consolation. Just the word "fundraising" makes me cringe a little bit. And maybe it's because I'm worried that people will roll their eyes when they get my letter and guffaw over the fact that I'm asking for money once again (I went on a mission trip to the Philippines in July and fundraised for that trip, too). And maybe it's because my family has never had a very positive attitude about it, so I just assume that I'm bothering them when I ask, even if it is a chance for them to support the church and her mission. Regardless of the reason, it still stands that I find it difficult to ask for others' help.

Something a little different happened this time though. Don't get me wrong; it was still hard. And it took me days to come up with a list. But I learned a number of things through the difficulties. Like I said before, I exhausted my family options pretty quickly and had to turn to my friends for help. It was really encouraging to see the responses I got from them. Nobody refused to give me their address or simply ignored my text or email. Actually, they all seemed excited to hear from me and welcomed the opportunity to catch up a bit. The struggle to come up with enough names also helped me see that people really do want to help; we just have to give them the chance. If we never ask, we'll never give them the opportunity to be charitable. Sure they may not all be able to support the trip financially, but they can offer support in other ways, such as through prayer. I'm not saying that I've suddenly developed a love for fundraising or even a knack for it, but it was nice to see the lessons God was trying to teach me through this experience. And by going outside of my comfort zone and asking people I normally wouldn't think of, I was able to make a list of more than 30 individuals :)

In the wise words of Mother Teresa: “Love is not patronizing and charity isn't about pity, it is about love. Charity and love are the same -- with charity you give love, so don't just give money but reach out your hand instead.”