I don't know if you ladies have ever felt like your semesters have had themes or not (I also don't know how acceptable it is to split your life into semesters once you're out of college but that's consideration for another post. Hahaha), but I feel like a current theme in my life has been friendship. It's been on my mind sooooo much lately, so I figured it made sense to devote a post to it. Hopefully it won't be tooo similar to things I've said in the past, because I realize that this isn't the first time I've written about my thoughts on friendship.
Now on to the new reflections :)
I think I mentioned in my last post that one of the best parts about the conference I went to was the conversations I had with friends. Well, another highlight was a talk I went to about friendship. One of the things the speaker said that really stuck out to me was that we'll likely only have one or two really good, virtuous friends in our lives--friends who will encourage us to grow in holiness, help us become saints, and offer us fraternal corrections when needed. When she said this, I was a little taken aback, not to mention a little disappointed, mostly because those are the kinds of friendships I strive to have. I don't want to have just a bunch of acquaintances who don't really know me. I want to have the kind of virtuous friendships she described. I want friends who will challenge me to become the best version of myself. I want friends who actually want to know how I'm doing when they ask. So that week, while we were still in Orlando, I started thinking of ways to make that happen, and I haven't stopped thinking about it since. Here's what I've been coming up with...
1. Instead of focusing on my lack of friendships at home, I've been concentrating on solidifying the friendships I developed last year. This has been an extremely fruitful exercise. I'm sure part of it has to do with the fact that I'm working now so I don't have as much time to obsess over all the things I'm missing out on by not being around my friends, but I've definitely seen a big difference simply due to the fact that I'm focusing on the positive instead of the negative. Plus, this new outlook has given me the opportunity to get to know my friends better, and it's been so good getting to that next level. I'm hoping to continue the trend with a few more friends each month. It'll definitely be easier with some than others, but I think I'm up for the challenge ;)
2. I've realized, with the help of a wonderful friend (who might be started a blog soon!! eeeeee!!), that I need to consider what wounds from past friendships might be holding me back from becoming better friends with the current people in my life. And not only do I need to recognize them, but I need to be willing to bring them up with the other person so that she can understand where I'm coming from. I hadn't really thought about it before this weekend, but I've actually done that with those few people who I'd consider my closest friends. And now that I know that's what I did, I can continue to do it when I feel like the time is right. Praise God for intuitive friends who are willing to listen to me go on and on about things I've been thinking about!
3. I'm reading A Simple Path by Bl. Mother Teresa, and in the introduction, someone described how people used to feel when she was talking to them. It was something along the lines of Mother Teresa gave her full and undivided attention to the person she was with and made them feel like the most important person in her life. In an effort to emulate her, I decided that anytime I'm talking to someone, I would silence my phone so that I wouldn't be tempted to answer a call or text while we were in the middle of a discussion. Because honestly, there aren't many more annoying things than trying to have a serious conversation with a friend who insists on responding to a text message in the middle of your story. Sure they claim to be listening to you, but we all know we can't listen to someone and type out a message at the same time--neither activity is receiving our full attention so we only end up hearing half of what our friend is saying to us and we end up sending a message that makes no sense. As a result of this newly implemented plan, people have been forced to call the person I'm with to get ahold of me. Hahaha that may or may not defeat the purpose of my exercise...
Well, that's probably enough for now. There's an episode of Parenthood calling my name and I still have to pack my lunch for work tomorrow. Why yes, I have regressed into the 8-year-old version of myself now that I'm working. Hahaha I go to bed at embarrassingly early hours, pick out my clothes the night before, and pack my lunch before going to bed. All normal things, right?
1 comment:
I can absolutely relate to "themes of the semester." Isn't it so interested how God sends these little lessons to us? Oddly enough, mine seems to be friendship this time too. I would love to read more of your thoughts on the topic - I feel like I can relate to it a lot. God bless you!
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