Attempting to get back into the swing of things by linking up with Jen and the other faithfuls. Here's hoping I can come up with 7 things that have been going on with me lately!
1. Work started about a month ago, and it's going really well! I've had plenty to do to keep me busy, which is a huge blessing because my manager originally told me that they probably wouldn't have much for me to work on. I'm just glad I'm not reading software manuals like I was during the internship! Plus it's been a huge joy getting to know my coworkers more. I've been trying to challenge myself to learn more about each of them and have a more substantial conversation than "Hi Jessica, how are you? I'm great, how are you?" Fridays are really slow in the office and hardly anyone actually comes in, so I spent a good chunk of the morning basically hanging out in one of my coworker's offices and discussing what it's like having 9 bosses and how that really works as a staff accountant.
2. Enough about work (though I really am glad it's going well). After a year of being back home, I've finally managed to find a young adult group!!! Talk about an answer to a prayer. I could probably write a whole post about it, and maybe one of these days I will, but I'll just stick to the basics for now. I went on a retreat the last weekend of July, got to know a couple of the girls, and started going to the young adult group they're a part of every Thursday night. I can't even tell you how much of a difference this has made; I've become pretty close with two of the women and have been invited to so many different activities as a result. I had been longing for that community and that feeling of being included in a group for so long, and I couldn't be happier with how God answered that prayer.
3. I think I'm finally in the last college course I'll ever have to take and I'm so ready to be done! Taking all these classes post-graduation has confirmed that I don't desire a master's degree. College was great for those first 5 years, but I'm perfectly content never to pay for another textbook again! Though this is probably due to the fact that my current class isn't going so hot. I guess that's what I get for signing up for a course called "Advanced Accounting," right? ;)
4. I started reading The Underland Chronicles last week. It's a five-book series written by the same author as The Hunger Games, and I really like 'em! Basically, it's the story of this young boy who discovers a land under our own and somehow finds himself constantly tangled up in the affairs of this Underland. They're young adult books (or maybe younger....haha), but they have some pretty profound messages in them, like self-sacrificing love, compassion, forgiveness, etc. If you're looking for a quick, easy read, I highly recommend them!
5. I seem to be running out of things to talk about...(which is why I haven't been blogging lately). Every time I sit down to start typing about something, nothing comes out the way I want it to or I simply can't think of anything to say. Not sure what the deal is but that's the way the cookie is crumbling.
6. Oh! I'm running in my first 5k ever on Sunday (unless you count the time when I was 9 or 10 and my mom signed us up for one and I had to quit probably less than a mile in. hahaha. I do not). I'm not sure I'll actually be able to run the whole thing since I had to put my training on hold due to the whole sprained-ankle-ligaments debacle, but I think some of my friends will have to walk too so I'm not too worried. Plus it's at the zoo so we'll get to run past all of the animals!
7. Now go watch this video and remember how amazing you are :)
Friday, September 20, 2013
Monday, August 19, 2013
Tag!
Haha apparently my absence has been noticed by someone. Thanks Morgan :) Can't think of a better way to return than with a list so I'll gladly participate. Here we go...
1.) The first rule is to post these rules.
2.) Post a photo of yourself then write 11 things about you/your life.
3.) Answer the questions for you set in the original post.
4.) Create 11 new questions and tag people to answer them.
5.) Go to their blog/twitter to tell them you have tagged them.
A little about me :)
1. I'm almost positive I've written about my relationship with running before (but I'm too lazy to go back and look). To sum it up, I don't like it. BUT! A few months ago, my mom purchased an elliptical so I had been using it almost every day for awhile. Then around 3 weeks ago, I got this crazy idea to go for an actual run. Miracle of miracles, I was able to make a 2 mile loop. So then I started running every other day. I wouldn't say I enjoyed it right away, but I got to the point where I didn't hate it. Until last week. It started (and ended) like all my other runs, though I did notice that my calf was a little sore before I began. Well, apparently I should have paid closer attention to that warning sign because this is what I came home to:
10 days later, I finally went to the doctor and she said I probably had tendinitis (though she couldn't be sure). So there goes all the progress I had been making, as well as the return of my love/mostly-hate relationship with running.
2. I use the field behind my house as a personal compost pile. I have no idea who actually farms the land, but I like to think the corn near our property line is the best ;) Plus, it drastically reduces the amount of garbage we accumulate.
3. I have a little triangle-shaped piece of skin in the outside corner of my left eye, but it doesn't affect my peripheral vision at all.
4. I'm one of the least creative people I know. My brain just doesn't function that way. I'm a very black-and-white person for the most part, but I did manage to help a close friend design this bulletin board for her classroom!
5. I second-guess myself over almost every form of communication. Before I say something in a group setting, I think about it over and over in my head to make sure it actually makes sense with the conversation. Before I send a text, post a Facebook comment, reply to an email, or contact someone for the first time, I read over what I'm about to send at least 3 times to make sure it says what I want to say. I have a bit of a problem with overthinking things and caring too much about things that ultimately don't matter/won't even be noticed by the recipient.
6. I'd pick vice president over president any day. I don't like being the one in charge or the one everyone else turns to for ideas. I'm fine carrying out a task and making sure it gets done, but I need that direction.
7. I get over-invested in TV show, movie, and book characters. I quote them, use them as examples, cry when they die, and get waaaay too excited when something good happens to them. There's just something about getting lost in their lives for the duration of the show or novel that really appeals to me. I should probably be embarrassed by the amount of time I spend with these 3 forms of entertainment, but I don't.
8. I was sick for a little over a month in high school and have no idea what I actually had since I never went to the doctor. I'm pretty sure it was a sore throat, cough, and either plugged up or runny nose combo. But the worst part was when I lost my sense of taste because I still wanted chips and ice cream and candy but couldn't enjoy any of them...not fun.
9. In my little high school (160 kids in my class), I was quite the athlete. I set school records in all of the sports I played. As far as I know, some of them still stand. I think the coolest one was when I broke the career rebounding record my senior year because the newspaper had written an article about me saying I might crack the top 5, but I'd never get to the top. So that was pretty fun. (also, you know you're scrounging for information about yourself when you have to go back to high school sports...)
10. I can never figure out whether I'm a morning person or a night owl because I don't particularly enjoy getting out of bed (read: I'm surprised my snooze button hasn't been broken yet) but I'm also bad at staying up late. I tend to be one of the first ones to leave a party (though my introversion may have more to do with that than my lack of night-owlism). I've never pulled an all-nighter, and I need to get a certain amount of sleep each night or I turn into an emotional wreck the next day. So...is there another category in that dichotomy? I mean I can get up early, and I don't particularly like sleeping in past 9, but I don't think that makes me a morning person. Haha these are the kinds of conundrums that keep me up at night an unable to complete personality tests.
11. I pack my lunch and pick out my clothes the night before so that I can sleep in for a few extra minutes if I want. It makes me feel a little like a grade schooler again.
Morgan's Questions for Me
1. What is the longest roadtrip you've ever taken?
That would be the 20-something hour bus ride to Florida this winter for the FOCUS conference.
2. Where was your favorite vacation destination you've ever been?
Ooooh this one is tough. I've been to some pretty cool places. I think I'd have to say Croatia, because I don't think you can count a mission trip as a vacation destination. Haha.
3. Favorite frugal-ish place to clothing shop? (need some help over here! :)
I absolutely stink at shopping. Honestly, my mom buys me most of my clothes for Christmas...and yes, I do realize how ridiculous that sounds. Hahaha. When I actually do shop for myself, I guess I usually hit up your typical department stores' sales racks (Carson's, Macy's, etc). And sometimes I have luck at Target or Maurices.
4. Easiest I-worked-all-day-but-don't-want-McDonalds-AGAIN recipe? (link-up if you can!)
Well way to embarrass me with two questions in a row that I can't really answer...when I don't feel like making anything for dinner, I usually just have cereal or crackers and cheese or pizza or Pasta-Roni. I have a veeerrrrry unsophisticated palate. Although, I have made this a few times over the past couple months and it's delicious if you like something a little spicy.
5. What did you want to be when you were younger?
From the time I was really young, I remember always wanting to be a teacher because I just loved kids. Oddly enough, every career aptitude test we ever took in grade school told me I should be an accountant. I guess those tests can be accurate.
6. Any books you're currently reading?
I'm actually looking for a new book to read. I got "The Group" from the library the other day, but I haven't started it yet so I don't know if it'll be any good or not.
7. What is your favorite TV show at the moment? (or coming back in the Fall!)
Oh jeez, talk about an impossible question. I started watching Graceland (on USA) this summer and got super hooked on it! This fall I'm looking forward to too many shows to count, including Revenge, Criminal Minds, The Following, Parenthood, Parks and Recreation, and I should probably stop there ;)
8. True or False: ice cream makes most bad days better?
e) none of the above. Ice cream makes any and all days better.
9. Do you journal? If so, where and what time of day?
I do journal, though not as regularly as I'd like. For awhile I was writing in it every night before I went to bed, but the habit just didn't stick.
10. What are your favorite fruits and veggies?
Fruits: strawberries, apples, clementines, oranges, pineapples, pomegranates, grapes, raspberries, blueberries, peaches, and watermelon.
Veggies: carrots, green beans, corn, potatoes (do those get to count as veggies...?), and tomatoes (let's be honest, no one actually thinks of them as a fruit).
11. Do you thrift? What was your best find?
Hahaha I tried to go thrifting with a master thrifter the other week and failed miserably. I do not have the patience for it, nor do I have the eye. Like I said before, I'm pretty awful at shopping, and I hate that they don't have all the sizes available. Haha.
1.) The first rule is to post these rules.
2.) Post a photo of yourself then write 11 things about you/your life.
3.) Answer the questions for you set in the original post.
4.) Create 11 new questions and tag people to answer them.
5.) Go to their blog/twitter to tell them you have tagged them.
 |
| I can't believe it's been a year since this adventure. Boy do I miss those kids. |
A little about me :)
1. I'm almost positive I've written about my relationship with running before (but I'm too lazy to go back and look). To sum it up, I don't like it. BUT! A few months ago, my mom purchased an elliptical so I had been using it almost every day for awhile. Then around 3 weeks ago, I got this crazy idea to go for an actual run. Miracle of miracles, I was able to make a 2 mile loop. So then I started running every other day. I wouldn't say I enjoyed it right away, but I got to the point where I didn't hate it. Until last week. It started (and ended) like all my other runs, though I did notice that my calf was a little sore before I began. Well, apparently I should have paid closer attention to that warning sign because this is what I came home to:
10 days later, I finally went to the doctor and she said I probably had tendinitis (though she couldn't be sure). So there goes all the progress I had been making, as well as the return of my love/mostly-hate relationship with running.
2. I use the field behind my house as a personal compost pile. I have no idea who actually farms the land, but I like to think the corn near our property line is the best ;) Plus, it drastically reduces the amount of garbage we accumulate.
3. I have a little triangle-shaped piece of skin in the outside corner of my left eye, but it doesn't affect my peripheral vision at all.
4. I'm one of the least creative people I know. My brain just doesn't function that way. I'm a very black-and-white person for the most part, but I did manage to help a close friend design this bulletin board for her classroom!
5. I second-guess myself over almost every form of communication. Before I say something in a group setting, I think about it over and over in my head to make sure it actually makes sense with the conversation. Before I send a text, post a Facebook comment, reply to an email, or contact someone for the first time, I read over what I'm about to send at least 3 times to make sure it says what I want to say. I have a bit of a problem with overthinking things and caring too much about things that ultimately don't matter/won't even be noticed by the recipient.
6. I'd pick vice president over president any day. I don't like being the one in charge or the one everyone else turns to for ideas. I'm fine carrying out a task and making sure it gets done, but I need that direction.
7. I get over-invested in TV show, movie, and book characters. I quote them, use them as examples, cry when they die, and get waaaay too excited when something good happens to them. There's just something about getting lost in their lives for the duration of the show or novel that really appeals to me. I should probably be embarrassed by the amount of time I spend with these 3 forms of entertainment, but I don't.
8. I was sick for a little over a month in high school and have no idea what I actually had since I never went to the doctor. I'm pretty sure it was a sore throat, cough, and either plugged up or runny nose combo. But the worst part was when I lost my sense of taste because I still wanted chips and ice cream and candy but couldn't enjoy any of them...not fun.
9. In my little high school (160 kids in my class), I was quite the athlete. I set school records in all of the sports I played. As far as I know, some of them still stand. I think the coolest one was when I broke the career rebounding record my senior year because the newspaper had written an article about me saying I might crack the top 5, but I'd never get to the top. So that was pretty fun. (also, you know you're scrounging for information about yourself when you have to go back to high school sports...)
10. I can never figure out whether I'm a morning person or a night owl because I don't particularly enjoy getting out of bed (read: I'm surprised my snooze button hasn't been broken yet) but I'm also bad at staying up late. I tend to be one of the first ones to leave a party (though my introversion may have more to do with that than my lack of night-owlism). I've never pulled an all-nighter, and I need to get a certain amount of sleep each night or I turn into an emotional wreck the next day. So...is there another category in that dichotomy? I mean I can get up early, and I don't particularly like sleeping in past 9, but I don't think that makes me a morning person. Haha these are the kinds of conundrums that keep me up at night an unable to complete personality tests.
11. I pack my lunch and pick out my clothes the night before so that I can sleep in for a few extra minutes if I want. It makes me feel a little like a grade schooler again.
Morgan's Questions for Me
1. What is the longest roadtrip you've ever taken?
That would be the 20-something hour bus ride to Florida this winter for the FOCUS conference.
2. Where was your favorite vacation destination you've ever been?
Ooooh this one is tough. I've been to some pretty cool places. I think I'd have to say Croatia, because I don't think you can count a mission trip as a vacation destination. Haha.
3. Favorite frugal-ish place to clothing shop? (need some help over here! :)
I absolutely stink at shopping. Honestly, my mom buys me most of my clothes for Christmas...and yes, I do realize how ridiculous that sounds. Hahaha. When I actually do shop for myself, I guess I usually hit up your typical department stores' sales racks (Carson's, Macy's, etc). And sometimes I have luck at Target or Maurices.
4. Easiest I-worked-all-day-but-don't-want-McDonalds-AGAIN recipe? (link-up if you can!)
Well way to embarrass me with two questions in a row that I can't really answer...when I don't feel like making anything for dinner, I usually just have cereal or crackers and cheese or pizza or Pasta-Roni. I have a veeerrrrry unsophisticated palate. Although, I have made this a few times over the past couple months and it's delicious if you like something a little spicy.
5. What did you want to be when you were younger?
From the time I was really young, I remember always wanting to be a teacher because I just loved kids. Oddly enough, every career aptitude test we ever took in grade school told me I should be an accountant. I guess those tests can be accurate.
6. Any books you're currently reading?
I'm actually looking for a new book to read. I got "The Group" from the library the other day, but I haven't started it yet so I don't know if it'll be any good or not.
7. What is your favorite TV show at the moment? (or coming back in the Fall!)
Oh jeez, talk about an impossible question. I started watching Graceland (on USA) this summer and got super hooked on it! This fall I'm looking forward to too many shows to count, including Revenge, Criminal Minds, The Following, Parenthood, Parks and Recreation, and I should probably stop there ;)
8. True or False: ice cream makes most bad days better?
e) none of the above. Ice cream makes any and all days better.
9. Do you journal? If so, where and what time of day?
I do journal, though not as regularly as I'd like. For awhile I was writing in it every night before I went to bed, but the habit just didn't stick.
10. What are your favorite fruits and veggies?
Fruits: strawberries, apples, clementines, oranges, pineapples, pomegranates, grapes, raspberries, blueberries, peaches, and watermelon.
Veggies: carrots, green beans, corn, potatoes (do those get to count as veggies...?), and tomatoes (let's be honest, no one actually thinks of them as a fruit).
11. Do you thrift? What was your best find?
Hahaha I tried to go thrifting with a master thrifter the other week and failed miserably. I do not have the patience for it, nor do I have the eye. Like I said before, I'm pretty awful at shopping, and I hate that they don't have all the sizes available. Haha.
My Questions for you!
1. What are some of your tried and true conversation starters? Haha I'm horrible at small talk and would gladly appreciate any easy topics you might have.
2. Did you read any good books this summer that you'd recommend?
3. Were you named after anyone?
4. Where is one of your favorite places to travel?
5. What was the high point of your week last week?
6. What made you decide to start blogging?
7. What is something you look forward to doing on the weekends?
8. Do you drink coffee? If so, what's your favorite way to drink it?
9. Have you seen anything funny on Youtube lately?
10. What's the worst injury you've sustained?
11. How do you unwind after a long day at work or school?
I'll tag:
Laura @Life Is Beautiful
Claire @Everything is Grace
Sarah @Footprints on My Heart
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Not Alone Series: Discernment
Putting in my two cents again this week amongst all the great women linking up with Jen!
I must admit that I don't think my vocabulary even included the word "discernment" until a little more than a year ago (thanks Catholic Church for enriching my lexicon, among other things ;) ), and for the first few months that people were talking about it, I didn't understand what the heck they were trying to get at. I mean, I got the fact that they were trying to distinguish between marriage and religious life, but the whole concept of discerning wasn't clicking. Plus, religious life had never even been on my radar, much less a possibility.
Coming from a background where you didn't rely on anything other than your own feelings and the opinions of those around you when making a decision, it was difficult for me to comprehend this notion of "listening to God" and asking for His help when I had a big decision to make. I can't even tell you the number of conversations I had with my friends (and continue to have!) about what it means for God to speak to you. At first, I thought they meant they could literally hear God's voice in their heads or in whatever room they were in, and since I had never had such an experience, I figured God just wasn't talking to me. Once my dumb ol' literal brain took it down a notch or twelve and my very patient saints-in-the-making friends depleted themselves of oxygen going over the concept ooonnnneee moooooorrrreeee tiiiiiiiiimmmmme, I finally began to appreciate the process a little more. I'm definitely not saying I'm some pro at being attuned to God's will all day every day, but I certainly take things to pray more often and feel a little more confident that I can recognize when an idea comes from Him.
That being said, I'm sure it comes as no shocker that I haven't given the thought of discerning a particular vocation too much thought. I guess I feel more of a pull towards marriage and have always pictured myself as a mom. Though, oddly enough, I've never really thought of myself as a wife. I don't know if that has to do with growing up in a single parent household or seeing the very negative effects and aspects of relationships more than I ever saw the positives. It could be because I haven't had a healthy relationship to look to as a model for what two people should strive towards when they're building a life together. I don't know if it's because I've never had any close guy friends so I just don't know much about them other than what I've seen on TV, which is obviously very accurate so maybe I know more than I think...riiiiiight. What I do know is that growing up the way I did has made me very hesitant and nervous about relationships. There are all these unknowns surrounding relationships, and that's something that's really hard for me to deal with. I like knowing what I'm getting into and what to expect. As bad as it sounds, I like feeling like I'm in control. Of course, I know that relationships can be extremely beautiful things that lead both people to become holier, better versions of themselves. Obviously I've got a lotta bit of healing to go through before I'm ready to start dating, and I've also got to spend some time getting to know myself better. But this place I'm at right now, I doubt I would have been able to explain it at all even a year ago. I would have just told you that I haven't really thought about it, but I wouldn't have been able to admit to all the misgivings and fear. I wouldn't have been able to put into words why I don't let myself think about it too much, because that would have meant saying that stupid things like being the only single girl in my group of friends made me feel left out, like I was missing out on some inside joke that everyone else was enjoying, or things like maybe guys aren't interested in me because I'm not *insert-adjective-of-choice-here* enough. It would have meant admitting that there was a part of me, a small part but a part nonetheless, that wondered if it would ever happen for me. And I didn't want to think those things. I didn't want to show people that those kinds of things were affecting me. So, I buried them. And as is the nature of all buried things, they've begun to resurface. I'm just glad I have a much better support system and the added bonus of a little more wisdom and maturity this time around.
So where am I at in my discernment process? I'd say I'm at a point of contentment and growth. I know that God has amazing things in store for me and that He'll reveal them when the time is right, and I'm taking steps to be ready when that actually happens (because God may lift me all the way up to the basket, but I still have to be the one to put the ball in the hoop--Thanks Fr. Mike...hopefully this is the right one...if not, it's still a good one!). I'm currently in the middle of reading How to Find Your Soulmate Without Losing Your Soul and Mulieris Dignitatem. I'm having conversations with good friends about their experiences with relationships and the qualities they hope to find in a significant other, and I'm spending more time reflecting in prayer. But more on that next week :)
I must admit that I don't think my vocabulary even included the word "discernment" until a little more than a year ago (thanks Catholic Church for enriching my lexicon, among other things ;) ), and for the first few months that people were talking about it, I didn't understand what the heck they were trying to get at. I mean, I got the fact that they were trying to distinguish between marriage and religious life, but the whole concept of discerning wasn't clicking. Plus, religious life had never even been on my radar, much less a possibility.
Coming from a background where you didn't rely on anything other than your own feelings and the opinions of those around you when making a decision, it was difficult for me to comprehend this notion of "listening to God" and asking for His help when I had a big decision to make. I can't even tell you the number of conversations I had with my friends (and continue to have!) about what it means for God to speak to you. At first, I thought they meant they could literally hear God's voice in their heads or in whatever room they were in, and since I had never had such an experience, I figured God just wasn't talking to me. Once my dumb ol' literal brain took it down a notch or twelve and my very patient saints-in-the-making friends depleted themselves of oxygen going over the concept ooonnnneee moooooorrrreeee tiiiiiiiiimmmmme, I finally began to appreciate the process a little more. I'm definitely not saying I'm some pro at being attuned to God's will all day every day, but I certainly take things to pray more often and feel a little more confident that I can recognize when an idea comes from Him.
That being said, I'm sure it comes as no shocker that I haven't given the thought of discerning a particular vocation too much thought. I guess I feel more of a pull towards marriage and have always pictured myself as a mom. Though, oddly enough, I've never really thought of myself as a wife. I don't know if that has to do with growing up in a single parent household or seeing the very negative effects and aspects of relationships more than I ever saw the positives. It could be because I haven't had a healthy relationship to look to as a model for what two people should strive towards when they're building a life together. I don't know if it's because I've never had any close guy friends so I just don't know much about them other than what I've seen on TV, which is obviously very accurate so maybe I know more than I think...riiiiiight. What I do know is that growing up the way I did has made me very hesitant and nervous about relationships. There are all these unknowns surrounding relationships, and that's something that's really hard for me to deal with. I like knowing what I'm getting into and what to expect. As bad as it sounds, I like feeling like I'm in control. Of course, I know that relationships can be extremely beautiful things that lead both people to become holier, better versions of themselves. Obviously I've got a lotta bit of healing to go through before I'm ready to start dating, and I've also got to spend some time getting to know myself better. But this place I'm at right now, I doubt I would have been able to explain it at all even a year ago. I would have just told you that I haven't really thought about it, but I wouldn't have been able to admit to all the misgivings and fear. I wouldn't have been able to put into words why I don't let myself think about it too much, because that would have meant saying that stupid things like being the only single girl in my group of friends made me feel left out, like I was missing out on some inside joke that everyone else was enjoying, or things like maybe guys aren't interested in me because I'm not *insert-adjective-of-choice-here* enough. It would have meant admitting that there was a part of me, a small part but a part nonetheless, that wondered if it would ever happen for me. And I didn't want to think those things. I didn't want to show people that those kinds of things were affecting me. So, I buried them. And as is the nature of all buried things, they've begun to resurface. I'm just glad I have a much better support system and the added bonus of a little more wisdom and maturity this time around.
So where am I at in my discernment process? I'd say I'm at a point of contentment and growth. I know that God has amazing things in store for me and that He'll reveal them when the time is right, and I'm taking steps to be ready when that actually happens (because God may lift me all the way up to the basket, but I still have to be the one to put the ball in the hoop--Thanks Fr. Mike...hopefully this is the right one...if not, it's still a good one!). I'm currently in the middle of reading How to Find Your Soulmate Without Losing Your Soul and Mulieris Dignitatem. I'm having conversations with good friends about their experiences with relationships and the qualities they hope to find in a significant other, and I'm spending more time reflecting in prayer. But more on that next week :)
Friday, June 7, 2013
7 Quick Takes (12)
Linking up with Jen and her minions for another round of Friday fun.
1. I started two more classes this week, for a total of 3 for now. Next week I'll add another, and the week after that, I'll tack on one more. I'm verrrrrrry quickly beginning to question what the heck I was thinking when I signed up for all this work...tax research takes up way more time than I'd like it to!
2. I somehow managed to get myself on the elliptical every day this week! How did I do it you ask?Well, I've taken to rewarding myself for exercising of course. Though I think I need a new system because eating a bowl of ice cream after using the elliptical for 45 minutes feels like it's negating any sort of progress I may have made...
3. My love of SVU has been rekindled. It's not that I ever didn't like it. I just got a little burnt out after taking part in every marathon the show had one year (read: anytime I turned the TV on, SVU was on). Oddly enough, this behavior led to a little thing I like to call burn out, so I did the only sensible thing I could think of--went on a two year hiatus. (Oh, you know how to do things outside of the extremes? Do share.) But now it's back and I feel another addiction starting.
4. I just got a text from a friend asking me if I want to read an encyclical with her each week. Um yes. Yes I do. First up: Mulieris Dignitatem. I.Can't.Wait.
5. If you're looking for a good book to read, I definitely recommend And the Mountains Echoed. It's by the same author as The Kite Runner and A Thousand Splendid Suns, neither of which I've read but I've heard they're both great, too! I would try to describe it, but that's not something I excel at...my summaries usually go something like this: "well, it's a story. And it's about a family. And how that family interacts with each other. And it's a little sad but also really endearing." That doesn't make you want to read it? How odd. (but still go read it!!!)
6. Is candy crush saga something I should be playing?
7. My family and I played this game at my uncle's party this past weekend and couldn't stop cracking up. Well worth the 99 cents!
1. I started two more classes this week, for a total of 3 for now. Next week I'll add another, and the week after that, I'll tack on one more. I'm verrrrrrry quickly beginning to question what the heck I was thinking when I signed up for all this work...tax research takes up way more time than I'd like it to!
3. My love of SVU has been rekindled. It's not that I ever didn't like it. I just got a little burnt out after taking part in every marathon the show had one year (read: anytime I turned the TV on, SVU was on). Oddly enough, this behavior led to a little thing I like to call burn out, so I did the only sensible thing I could think of--went on a two year hiatus. (Oh, you know how to do things outside of the extremes? Do share.) But now it's back and I feel another addiction starting.
4. I just got a text from a friend asking me if I want to read an encyclical with her each week. Um yes. Yes I do. First up: Mulieris Dignitatem. I.Can't.Wait.
5. If you're looking for a good book to read, I definitely recommend And the Mountains Echoed. It's by the same author as The Kite Runner and A Thousand Splendid Suns, neither of which I've read but I've heard they're both great, too! I would try to describe it, but that's not something I excel at...my summaries usually go something like this: "well, it's a story. And it's about a family. And how that family interacts with each other. And it's a little sad but also really endearing." That doesn't make you want to read it? How odd. (but still go read it!!!)
6. Is candy crush saga something I should be playing?
7. My family and I played this game at my uncle's party this past weekend and couldn't stop cracking up. Well worth the 99 cents!
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
Not Alone Series: Intro
In keeping with my latest tardiness trend, I’m just now
sitting down to write Tuesday’s intro post…oops. But now that I’m finally
writing it, I’ll be able to look at everyone else’s posts! Now that’s what I
call incentive. Don't forget to check out Morgan's blog for all the other perspectives!
If you’re new here, my name’s Jordan. According to some of
my friends, I live in “southern” Illinois because I’m south of I-80, but what
can you expect from people who hail from the suburbs but tell people they’re
from Chicago? ;) Anyway, I graduated from the University of Illinois last spring
after doing a little victory lap due to a change in major right before senior
year. I started off as a speech pathology major until I started observing some
of our grad students during their clinicals. I decided I needed something a
little more black and white, so I switched to agricultural accounting and
learned how to count corn. At least, that’s the joke everyone seems to make
when I reveal the full name of my degree. I ended up moving back home after
graduation since I didn’t have a job right away. After interning at a local
accounting firm during this past tax season, the company ended up offering me a
full-time position which I’ll be starting sometime in August or September.
Until then, I’m just busy taking classes and visiting my friends. Now on to
things you actually might be interested in—
Honestly, if you had asked me a month ago, or even a week
ago, how I felt about being single, I’d probably tell you that I hadn’t really
thought about it. I’ve been single my whole life, unless you count the lucky
boy who got to hold hands with me at the skating rink from 3rd
through 6th grade ;) Hahaha gotta love grade school “boyfriends.” Or
the guy I dated for a month in high school, which consisted of us going to the
movies on the weekends and out to dinner once. I went on a handful of dates in
college but none of them amounted to anything other than a lot of anxiety over
how to tell them I wasn’t interested in pursuing a relationship. I’ll save
those stories for later, though, as this is just the intro post :)
So like I said, I haven’t given much thought to being
single. Sure there are times where it’d be nice to have someone to go on a walk
with or grab dinner with or join a kickball team with, but I can’t say I’m
overwhelmed with those feelings or constantly thinking about them. In fact,
more often than not, I think about being in a relationship and the first
feeling that pops up is anxiety. I’ve never really had an example of a good and
healthy relationship in my life, and I’m fairly certain the movies aren’t quite
portraying an accurate picture… I actually talked to a few different friends
about it all in the past week oddly enough, and I came to the conclusion that I
need to take some more time to really get to know myself before I can think of
entering into a relationship. I’ve never been one who relishes in reflecting
and I seem to find any excuse to avoid it. So this week I’ve been challenging
myself to spend some time each day journaling about things I’ve discovered
about myself that day. It’s been a good exercise so far, though I doubt it’s
going to wind up being the answer to all my problems.
So how do I feel about being single? For now, I feel pretty
okay about it, especially since there’s a lot I need to do before I can begin
to think of being in a selfless relationship!
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Just (4 times) around the riverbed
Finally have something to write about! I've had a really hard time getting my thoughts down for awhile now so I've been avoiding even opening up a new post for fear of the blank page that would stare at me for 45 minutes before I decided I could probably find a better way to spend my time. But! A few funny things happened this weekend, so I thought I'd share :)
My mom's birthday was last week so my aunt, uncle, mom, mom's boyfriend, and I went out to a lake on Sunday and had a picnic. We packed up the cars and left around 11am because they were really worried all the "good spots" would be taken by the time we got there. They weren't. We snagged 3 picnic tables, decided that the 5 o'clock rule doesn't count on Sundays (or any day really) and poured ourselves some sangria. From the second we sat down, my aunt had her eyes on the lake and was desperate to rent a boat so we could go out. Somehow I got recruited as her first (and only) mate, so we sauntered over to the concession stand and got a boat.
And here's where we ran into our first problem.
Neither of us had ever manned a boat before, so we asked the guy who was shoving us off for a short tutorial. Here's what he said "one way is reverse and the other is forward. And don't run it into any rocks." Apparently he wasn't too concerned about us crashing back into the dock or any of the other boats around us. How about a little more direction there, buddy!? Nope. Eventually my aunt figured it out and we made our way to the open sea...sort of. As it turns out, our "motor" boat was something I think he called a trolling motor, aka it goes about 2 mph. For awhile I couldn't even tell we were moving. Honestly, I think the wind was blowing us more than the motor was propelling us. I decided to use the oars so that we'd back it around to the other side before nightfall. I'm not sure when the last time I rowed a boat was...maybe never...but it took me an embarrassingly long amount of time to get it down. At least we were moving, though!
And here's where we ran into our second problem.
Just as we were rounding the bend (cue Pocahontas), the metal piece holding the oar in place broke, which left us with one working oar and a basically dead battery-operated motor... We ended up having to turn the boat around and travel back to the dock in reverse because it was about 3 times as fast as moving forward. We looked ridiculous. It took 20 minutes to go probably 100 meters. After finally getting back to shore, I was ready to give up on the whole "adventure," but we had already paid for the full 2 hours and they weren't going to give us a refund despite the defective boat. But the guy said he'd give us another boat so we reluctantly agreed. Armed with 2 more cups of sangria (my aunt took a detour back to our pic-a-nic site), we got back in the boat, took our positions, and shoved off once more. We quickly realized that this motor worked much better than our last one, which is to say that we were able to go about 5 mph instead of 2. So I went ahead and continued rowing. Everything seemed to be going fine and dandy. We finally made it to the other side of the..peninsula..? Haha I have no idea what to call it, but we rounded the bend and saw our fellow picnic-ers. On our way back to the docks, we were rounding that pesky bend once more.
And here's where we ran into our third problem.
All of the sudden as my aunt is trying to figure out which way to move the lever to turn the boat so we can avoid hitting a couple of kayakers, the motor decides to jump ship! I'm not quite sure how the screws keeping it IN the boat were loosened, but it almost fell completely into the water! Fortunately my aunt was able to catch it! However, since I was rowing, she was holding onto both cups of sangria, so we were in a bit of a predicament. Never one to waste alcohol, she wound up combining them both into one cup, shoving it in my hands, and reattaching the motor. So there I was, trying to make sure we didn't lose either of the oars while simultaneously ensuring none of her precious juice was spilled. Hahaha I'm sure it was quite the sight to see.
And here's where we ran into our fourth problem.
As she was working on the motor, we were just sort of drifting along wherever the water took us. I was faced toward her so I had no idea where we were headed. It didn't seem like a huge deal since we were moving at a snail's pace. Well hindsight is 20/20, my friends, because it turned out to be a big deal as we sailed straight into a bed of rocks...in an aluminum boat... I noticed we were on that path with just enough time to do absolutely nothing except yell "Shannon the rocks!!!" So much for the man's warning... At this point, she still didn't have the dang motor attached so we attacked that first. Then we tried pushing ourselves out of the rocks while still in the boat, but that didn't do any good so she decided she would get out of the boat, stand on the rocks, and push us out. I was a little wary of this tactic as I wasn't sure how she would get back in....but she seemed dead set on trying so what was I to do? When that didn't work, I told her to hop back to her spot and I would just try using the oars again. Eventually, we escaped our rock prison but not before hearing the awful sound of stone grinding against the bottom of our boat. We were sure our boat would sink at any time, a fact which wasn't helped by the gurgling sound we were hearing! But alas, our fears were unwarranted as we made it back to the shore unharmed and, mostly, dry. I sure hopped out of that contraption reeeaaaall fast though!
All in all, I spent about an hour and a half rowing those two boats and I had the blisters to prove it! Sure makes for a funny story now :)
My mom's birthday was last week so my aunt, uncle, mom, mom's boyfriend, and I went out to a lake on Sunday and had a picnic. We packed up the cars and left around 11am because they were really worried all the "good spots" would be taken by the time we got there. They weren't. We snagged 3 picnic tables, decided that the 5 o'clock rule doesn't count on Sundays (or any day really) and poured ourselves some sangria. From the second we sat down, my aunt had her eyes on the lake and was desperate to rent a boat so we could go out. Somehow I got recruited as her first (and only) mate, so we sauntered over to the concession stand and got a boat.
And here's where we ran into our first problem.
Neither of us had ever manned a boat before, so we asked the guy who was shoving us off for a short tutorial. Here's what he said "one way is reverse and the other is forward. And don't run it into any rocks." Apparently he wasn't too concerned about us crashing back into the dock or any of the other boats around us. How about a little more direction there, buddy!? Nope. Eventually my aunt figured it out and we made our way to the open sea...sort of. As it turns out, our "motor" boat was something I think he called a trolling motor, aka it goes about 2 mph. For awhile I couldn't even tell we were moving. Honestly, I think the wind was blowing us more than the motor was propelling us. I decided to use the oars so that we'd back it around to the other side before nightfall. I'm not sure when the last time I rowed a boat was...maybe never...but it took me an embarrassingly long amount of time to get it down. At least we were moving, though!
And here's where we ran into our second problem.
Just as we were rounding the bend (cue Pocahontas), the metal piece holding the oar in place broke, which left us with one working oar and a basically dead battery-operated motor... We ended up having to turn the boat around and travel back to the dock in reverse because it was about 3 times as fast as moving forward. We looked ridiculous. It took 20 minutes to go probably 100 meters. After finally getting back to shore, I was ready to give up on the whole "adventure," but we had already paid for the full 2 hours and they weren't going to give us a refund despite the defective boat. But the guy said he'd give us another boat so we reluctantly agreed. Armed with 2 more cups of sangria (my aunt took a detour back to our pic-a-nic site), we got back in the boat, took our positions, and shoved off once more. We quickly realized that this motor worked much better than our last one, which is to say that we were able to go about 5 mph instead of 2. So I went ahead and continued rowing. Everything seemed to be going fine and dandy. We finally made it to the other side of the..peninsula..? Haha I have no idea what to call it, but we rounded the bend and saw our fellow picnic-ers. On our way back to the docks, we were rounding that pesky bend once more.
And here's where we ran into our third problem.
All of the sudden as my aunt is trying to figure out which way to move the lever to turn the boat so we can avoid hitting a couple of kayakers, the motor decides to jump ship! I'm not quite sure how the screws keeping it IN the boat were loosened, but it almost fell completely into the water! Fortunately my aunt was able to catch it! However, since I was rowing, she was holding onto both cups of sangria, so we were in a bit of a predicament. Never one to waste alcohol, she wound up combining them both into one cup, shoving it in my hands, and reattaching the motor. So there I was, trying to make sure we didn't lose either of the oars while simultaneously ensuring none of her precious juice was spilled. Hahaha I'm sure it was quite the sight to see.
And here's where we ran into our fourth problem.
As she was working on the motor, we were just sort of drifting along wherever the water took us. I was faced toward her so I had no idea where we were headed. It didn't seem like a huge deal since we were moving at a snail's pace. Well hindsight is 20/20, my friends, because it turned out to be a big deal as we sailed straight into a bed of rocks...in an aluminum boat... I noticed we were on that path with just enough time to do absolutely nothing except yell "Shannon the rocks!!!" So much for the man's warning... At this point, she still didn't have the dang motor attached so we attacked that first. Then we tried pushing ourselves out of the rocks while still in the boat, but that didn't do any good so she decided she would get out of the boat, stand on the rocks, and push us out. I was a little wary of this tactic as I wasn't sure how she would get back in....but she seemed dead set on trying so what was I to do? When that didn't work, I told her to hop back to her spot and I would just try using the oars again. Eventually, we escaped our rock prison but not before hearing the awful sound of stone grinding against the bottom of our boat. We were sure our boat would sink at any time, a fact which wasn't helped by the gurgling sound we were hearing! But alas, our fears were unwarranted as we made it back to the shore unharmed and, mostly, dry. I sure hopped out of that contraption reeeaaaall fast though!
All in all, I spent about an hour and a half rowing those two boats and I had the blisters to prove it! Sure makes for a funny story now :)
Thursday, May 9, 2013
Quick Takes (11)
Can't seem to find anything to write about lately, so I figured I'd get my quick takes done early for a change and actually link 'em up with Jen and all the Friday faithful.
1. Despite the fact that I've already done the whole graduation thing, I find myself feeling oddly nostalgic and senior-y this time of year. I blame it on the fact that some of my closest friends are a couple years younger so they're in the midst of finishing up school right now. It's not fun to think about all of us being in different cities next year with completely different schedules. It was hard enough coordinating schedules this year when they were all still in school. It's definitely going to take a lot more intentional acts, like scheduling times to talk and finding times to visit.
2. In an attempt to become a better friend, I've been trying to spend less time "liking" things on Facebook and more time emailing/texting/calling my friends. As much as I enjoy being able to keep up with the people I care about via their status updates and pictures, I started to notice I was using it as an excuse for not actually communicating. I'd see pictures of their vacations or read their statuses about plans after graduation and think I knew what was going on in their lives. And I guess in a way I did...but there's so much more to our lives than what we post on Facebook. I wanted more than that false sense of connection, so I cut my brain's vacation short and made plans to reconnect with friends I've lost touch with. I read an article today that brought up some of the same points but in a much better way--here ya go!
3. Confession--I started watching Revenge last week and I'm already caught up on the most recent episode...I would feel more guilty about this if the show weren't only in its second season. But still...I can't say I'm proud. Haha
4. I was walking through town the other day and spotted this little guy. Gotta love the country :)
6. Last weekend six of my friends came to visit!! I don't think I need to explain how needed that was...One of the interesting things that came up was a conversation one of the girls had with a Jewish rabbi who was speaking at an interfaith gathering. Apparently during the event, the Christian representative mentioned something about Catholics praying for the conversion of Jews on Holy Thursday (or is it Good Friday...?). Anyway, the rabbi said that he insulted by that. My friend explained to him that we do it because we believe we have the fullness of the truth and we want others to have it as well. She said it's like parents praying that their children grow up to embrace their faith, too. And then he shared something we were all a little confused by. He said that he wouldn't want to encourage his kids to practice Judaism if they didn't want to, even though he wholeheartedly believed it was the right religion. Hmmm...
7. Despite the fact that I haven't been helping out with Religious Ed classes since December (so many things I slacked on due to my internship... :-/), I like to think I made up for it by making it to our last class. Haha wishful thinking I'm sure. Though my guilt lessened slightly when I found out that my co-teacher's mom ended up taking over the class because M didn't have time to teach either...but she was there Wednesday too! Two of the kids acknowledged my re-appearance with a hug, while the rest didn't seem to remember me every being there in the first place. Perhaps that's why none of them listened to a word either of us said the entire time. They make look cute but they sure know how to push buttons.
1. Despite the fact that I've already done the whole graduation thing, I find myself feeling oddly nostalgic and senior-y this time of year. I blame it on the fact that some of my closest friends are a couple years younger so they're in the midst of finishing up school right now. It's not fun to think about all of us being in different cities next year with completely different schedules. It was hard enough coordinating schedules this year when they were all still in school. It's definitely going to take a lot more intentional acts, like scheduling times to talk and finding times to visit.
2. In an attempt to become a better friend, I've been trying to spend less time "liking" things on Facebook and more time emailing/texting/calling my friends. As much as I enjoy being able to keep up with the people I care about via their status updates and pictures, I started to notice I was using it as an excuse for not actually communicating. I'd see pictures of their vacations or read their statuses about plans after graduation and think I knew what was going on in their lives. And I guess in a way I did...but there's so much more to our lives than what we post on Facebook. I wanted more than that false sense of connection, so I cut my brain's vacation short and made plans to reconnect with friends I've lost touch with. I read an article today that brought up some of the same points but in a much better way--here ya go!
3. Confession--I started watching Revenge last week and I'm already caught up on the most recent episode...I would feel more guilty about this if the show weren't only in its second season. But still...I can't say I'm proud. Haha
4. I was walking through town the other day and spotted this little guy. Gotta love the country :)
5. Super intrigued by what can only be described as the newest addition to our grocer's produce aisle.
7. Despite the fact that I haven't been helping out with Religious Ed classes since December (so many things I slacked on due to my internship... :-/), I like to think I made up for it by making it to our last class. Haha wishful thinking I'm sure. Though my guilt lessened slightly when I found out that my co-teacher's mom ended up taking over the class because M didn't have time to teach either...but she was there Wednesday too! Two of the kids acknowledged my re-appearance with a hug, while the rest didn't seem to remember me every being there in the first place. Perhaps that's why none of them listened to a word either of us said the entire time. They make look cute but they sure know how to push buttons.
Monday, April 29, 2013
Do you see what I see
I've started this post a dozen different ways, and I can't seem to figure out what exactly I want to say and how I want to say it. I have the blueprint in my head, but it's just not coming out right on the screen. So bear with me as I muddle my way through. Hopefully it makes sense in the end!
I feel like I spent quite a bit of my weekend talking about confidence and vulnerability, probably because they are two areas in which many of us struggle (if you don't, please tell me your secret!). One of the conversations I had involved our perceptions of ourselves vs. others' perceptions of us. I guess it was kind of like the Dove commercial but in a less superficial way. One friend mentioned that the way he sees himself is rarely, if EVER, the way his friends would describe him. Another friend shared that she consistently worries about people judging her and wonders what they think of her. And still another told me that she feels out of place sometimes because the way she expresses her thoughts and opinions is much different than the way many of her friends do. Honestly, the list goes on and on. We're all broken in some way, insecure about something. We see what others have and we wish we could have it, too. But the funny thing is, we're so focused on whatever desired trait those people have that we aren't able to see the crosses they bear.
Has that ever happened to anyone else? I remember when I first started getting involved last year, I would see people sitting in the chapel hours before/after Mass or wearing a scapular or praying a walking rosary and think "wow, they must be so holy." Or I'd see an interaction between two friends or a friend and her parents and think, "I wish I could have a relationship like that." Or I'd be walking with a friend through the dorm, stopping every 10 feet because someone wanted to say hi to her or give her a hug and would think how lucky she was to be so well-liked. Most of these interactions were with people I was just starting to become friends with so I didn't know them that well. I just assumed they had it all together because, from the outside, it looked like they did. Then, I started getting to know them better, and it became almost instantly clear that while they may not be struggling with the exact things I was, they were still struggling. I think this was a pivotal moment in my friendships because it allowed me to be infinitely more comfortable sharing my own insecurities and doubts. I mean, who wants to tell someone who seems to have everything together that they aren't super happy with who they are? It's hard enough to admit that type of thing to our closest friends...but someone we just meet? Probably not going to happen. Because we're worried what they'll think or how they'll react. What if they judge us or think we're strange? What if they start treating us differently? What will they think of us after we tell them? We're scared to be fully ourselves because we aren't comfortable with who we are and we judge ourselves far more harshly than anyone else ever will. We're our own worst enemies most of the time. Most people probably aren't even aware of our perceived "flaws," and it's certainly not something they dwell on, nor is it the first thing to come to mind when they think of us.
So why is it the first thing that comes to our minds? Or maybe it's not the first thing, but why is it such a dominating element? What will it take for us to accept ourselves and begin to see ourselves as others do, to see our beauty? Because we are all beautiful sons and daughters of a King, and we deserve to embrace that fact, to own it, and to help each other discover or remember it each and every day. We have so much to offer, so many strengths. Maybe it's time we start focusing on them and sharing those parts of ourselves with the world. How would you describe your friends? That's probably how they would describe you, too :)
I found this post a few months ago, and I'm not exactly sure it fits here but I wanted to share it anyway because I think it's got a really great message :) So you're welcome. Haha.
I feel like I spent quite a bit of my weekend talking about confidence and vulnerability, probably because they are two areas in which many of us struggle (if you don't, please tell me your secret!). One of the conversations I had involved our perceptions of ourselves vs. others' perceptions of us. I guess it was kind of like the Dove commercial but in a less superficial way. One friend mentioned that the way he sees himself is rarely, if EVER, the way his friends would describe him. Another friend shared that she consistently worries about people judging her and wonders what they think of her. And still another told me that she feels out of place sometimes because the way she expresses her thoughts and opinions is much different than the way many of her friends do. Honestly, the list goes on and on. We're all broken in some way, insecure about something. We see what others have and we wish we could have it, too. But the funny thing is, we're so focused on whatever desired trait those people have that we aren't able to see the crosses they bear.
Has that ever happened to anyone else? I remember when I first started getting involved last year, I would see people sitting in the chapel hours before/after Mass or wearing a scapular or praying a walking rosary and think "wow, they must be so holy." Or I'd see an interaction between two friends or a friend and her parents and think, "I wish I could have a relationship like that." Or I'd be walking with a friend through the dorm, stopping every 10 feet because someone wanted to say hi to her or give her a hug and would think how lucky she was to be so well-liked. Most of these interactions were with people I was just starting to become friends with so I didn't know them that well. I just assumed they had it all together because, from the outside, it looked like they did. Then, I started getting to know them better, and it became almost instantly clear that while they may not be struggling with the exact things I was, they were still struggling. I think this was a pivotal moment in my friendships because it allowed me to be infinitely more comfortable sharing my own insecurities and doubts. I mean, who wants to tell someone who seems to have everything together that they aren't super happy with who they are? It's hard enough to admit that type of thing to our closest friends...but someone we just meet? Probably not going to happen. Because we're worried what they'll think or how they'll react. What if they judge us or think we're strange? What if they start treating us differently? What will they think of us after we tell them? We're scared to be fully ourselves because we aren't comfortable with who we are and we judge ourselves far more harshly than anyone else ever will. We're our own worst enemies most of the time. Most people probably aren't even aware of our perceived "flaws," and it's certainly not something they dwell on, nor is it the first thing to come to mind when they think of us.
So why is it the first thing that comes to our minds? Or maybe it's not the first thing, but why is it such a dominating element? What will it take for us to accept ourselves and begin to see ourselves as others do, to see our beauty? Because we are all beautiful sons and daughters of a King, and we deserve to embrace that fact, to own it, and to help each other discover or remember it each and every day. We have so much to offer, so many strengths. Maybe it's time we start focusing on them and sharing those parts of ourselves with the world. How would you describe your friends? That's probably how they would describe you, too :)
I found this post a few months ago, and I'm not exactly sure it fits here but I wanted to share it anyway because I think it's got a really great message :) So you're welcome. Haha.
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
Thinking & Driving
As I was driving home this morning from Mass and the library, I turned my radio off and just let my mind wander. Usually I have no idea how my thoughts transition from one topic to the next, but it tends to be a pretty interesting experiment. I went from thinking about phone calls I had to make to classes I need to take to trips I want to go on to things to get at the grocery store to blog post ideas to friends I would like to catch up with (and about a million other things in between but those were the more important ones). It was no shock that I eventually ended up on friends. The topic has been on my mind a lot the past year or so, as is evident by almost every post I write... Anyway, I started off thinking about how much I miss certain friends. You know, the ones you can sit and talk to literally for hours. The ones who never seem to run out of advice or stories or laughter or wisdom. The ones who challenge you to pick yourself up when you're down instead of letting you wallow in your perceived injustices. The ones who celebrate your accomplishments even more than you do. The ones who make time for you no matter how busy their schedules are. The ones who know your heart.
I miss seeing those friends. Yes, it's nice to be able to talk on the phone, text, Skype, and send emails, but it's not the same. Obviously I'm grateful for those means of communication since I wouldn't have any contact at all without them, but we all know that nothing beats a face-to-face meeting. (Plus with my shoddy cell reception, I end up missing a quarter of what the person on the other line ends up saying to me and try to make up for it by saying a lot of "uh huhs" and awkward laughter....) It reminds me of the quote toward the end of Shawshank Redemption when Red says "I guess I just miss my friend." Couldn't have said it better myself, Red.
But then another thought started to develop. Amidst the sadness came an overwhelming feeling of gratitude. Yes, I miss my friends. But that means that I have friends to miss. I'm incredibly blessed and grateful to have these types of friends in my life, because that hasn't always been the case for me. I grew up with the idea that friends were just people you complained to about your siblings, played sports with, or went to the movies with. And because I didn't know anything else, I didn't desire anything else. I thought that's what friendships were. It didn't occur to me that friends could be something other than boredom-chaser-away-ers (yes, that's a word). A couple months after I made my first "real" friend, we were sitting outside on her patio talking and she asked me something along the lines of "didn't you ever talk about this kind of stuff with your friends growing up?" When I replied with an awkward no..., she questioned what we did talk about. The only things I could come up with were movies, sports, and homework. Not a lot of growing going on there. And not much joy either.
That's not to say that I only want friends who are going to be joyful all of the time and committed to helping me grow every time we talk. That seems like an absurd and unattainable desire. We all have rough days where we just need our friends to listen to us complain for a little bit, but that shouldn't be the norm. I've had friendships like that before, and they're draining. It's hard to be positive around someone who's consistently down. But that's a discussion for another post. I'd rather focus on current friends, like M. M & I have spent this semester reading The Simple Path by Mother Teresa and Screwtape Letters by CS Lewis. Now we're starting Crossing the Threshold of Hope by Blessed (SOON TO BE SAINT!!!) John Paul II! I'm so excited to get into it. If you're looking for a way to keep in touch with a friend, I definitely recommend doing something like this! Anyway, we read a certain number of chapters each week and then talk about them over Skype. Usually we have so much to say to teach other that we end up talking for more than 2 hours! It was without a doubt one of the highlights of my week. Every single week. Mostly because I couldn't wait to hear what M had to say. That woman is a living saint, and she just has a way of saying the most beautiful things. I love it :) And she's just one of the women I've had the pleasure of getting to know better this winter/spring.
So the fact that I now have friends like the ones I described up there helps me be okay with missing them. Because I'd rather be missing them than hanging out with the alternative.
"O God, let me know you and love you so that I may find my joy in you; and if I cannot do so fully in this life, let me at least make some progress every day, until at last that knowledge, love and joy come to me in all their plenitude...On Earth then I shall have great joy in hope, and in heaven complete joy in the fulfillment of my hope" ~~St. Anselm
Sunday, April 21, 2013
7 Quick Takes: Office Edition
This seemed like the perfect way to get back into my blog, despite the fact that I'm two days late :)
1. Last Monday marked the last day of my accounting internship! I started waaay back in January, knowing absolutely NOTHING about taxes. Haha they really took a leap of faith giving me that internship. Luckily, I learned a thing or two along the way. Apparently they thought so, too, because they ended up offering me a full-time position!! Aaand they gave me the summer off so that I would have enough time to take the classes I still need. Bonus!
2. I was reflecting on the job offer and the break before it starts, and it reminded me a lot of the 5-month break I had in between my Philippines trip and the start of my internship. I can't say that I spent that time in the best way possible. So I feel like God is giving me a do-over. A chance to make some friends, do some growing, and actually enjoy the lack of responsibilities I have. Here's hoping!
3. Oh you weren't tired of hearing me say a variation of the word "intern" yet? Good! I think one of the most surprising things that happened while I was working was that I became closer to my friends. Because I was working 6 days a week, I had to be more intentional about my free time. Which was great!! I got to read 2 books with a friend and have weekly discussions about them over Skype. I got to see my friends on the weekends a few times and made a much better effort to see how they were really doing, instead of just hitting up small talk. It was so rewarding.
4. Two unfortunate events happened while I was interning. One night after work, I stayed late talking to a co-worker. She told me about a tradition in the office known as "Fiesta Wednesday." Basically, most of the partners on our end of the building are gone every Wednesday, so a couple of times a year, the north side brings in a bunch of food and they have a little party. Sounded great to me! I was at the store the following Tuesday picking up something to bring when it suddenly dawned on me that Fiesta Wednesday happened to fall on what we Catholics call Ash Wednesday...womp womp. No fiesta-ing for this girl. And wouldn't you know it, the same thing happened on Good Friday except the reason for this little shindig was that no one in the office had a birthday in March and we needed an excuse to bring in food. Hahaha. I thought it was very ironic that these celebrations happened on the ONLY TWO DAYS where we're asked to fast. What are the odds? Oh well, at least I know I'll be well-fed when I start again! ;)
5. One of my favorite things about being the intern was that people would bring me tax returns to do and say "here's an easy one for ya" as they were putting it on my desk. I doubt I'll get that treatment for much longer!!
6. Some of the women in the office were in the kitchen eating lunch one day, and somehow we got on the subject of how long everyone's been working at the firm and how things have changed since they started. Most of them have been there since before fax machines, voicemail, computer mouses, and Excel existed. That boggled my mind just a little bit! It'll be funny to see what our "voicemails" and "fax machines" will be.
7. I definitely had some reservations about being an accountant. I didn't particularly enjoy the classes I took in college, and I had no idea what to expect when I started working. But it turned out to be a wonderful experience. I reallly enjoy all of the people I work with, and I found that I didn't mind going into work each day. It was such a blessing.
I hope you've all been doing well! Can't wait to catch up on all of your blogs :)
1. Last Monday marked the last day of my accounting internship! I started waaay back in January, knowing absolutely NOTHING about taxes. Haha they really took a leap of faith giving me that internship. Luckily, I learned a thing or two along the way. Apparently they thought so, too, because they ended up offering me a full-time position!! Aaand they gave me the summer off so that I would have enough time to take the classes I still need. Bonus!
2. I was reflecting on the job offer and the break before it starts, and it reminded me a lot of the 5-month break I had in between my Philippines trip and the start of my internship. I can't say that I spent that time in the best way possible. So I feel like God is giving me a do-over. A chance to make some friends, do some growing, and actually enjoy the lack of responsibilities I have. Here's hoping!
3. Oh you weren't tired of hearing me say a variation of the word "intern" yet? Good! I think one of the most surprising things that happened while I was working was that I became closer to my friends. Because I was working 6 days a week, I had to be more intentional about my free time. Which was great!! I got to read 2 books with a friend and have weekly discussions about them over Skype. I got to see my friends on the weekends a few times and made a much better effort to see how they were really doing, instead of just hitting up small talk. It was so rewarding.
4. Two unfortunate events happened while I was interning. One night after work, I stayed late talking to a co-worker. She told me about a tradition in the office known as "Fiesta Wednesday." Basically, most of the partners on our end of the building are gone every Wednesday, so a couple of times a year, the north side brings in a bunch of food and they have a little party. Sounded great to me! I was at the store the following Tuesday picking up something to bring when it suddenly dawned on me that Fiesta Wednesday happened to fall on what we Catholics call Ash Wednesday...womp womp. No fiesta-ing for this girl. And wouldn't you know it, the same thing happened on Good Friday except the reason for this little shindig was that no one in the office had a birthday in March and we needed an excuse to bring in food. Hahaha. I thought it was very ironic that these celebrations happened on the ONLY TWO DAYS where we're asked to fast. What are the odds? Oh well, at least I know I'll be well-fed when I start again! ;)
5. One of my favorite things about being the intern was that people would bring me tax returns to do and say "here's an easy one for ya" as they were putting it on my desk. I doubt I'll get that treatment for much longer!!
6. Some of the women in the office were in the kitchen eating lunch one day, and somehow we got on the subject of how long everyone's been working at the firm and how things have changed since they started. Most of them have been there since before fax machines, voicemail, computer mouses, and Excel existed. That boggled my mind just a little bit! It'll be funny to see what our "voicemails" and "fax machines" will be.
7. I definitely had some reservations about being an accountant. I didn't particularly enjoy the classes I took in college, and I had no idea what to expect when I started working. But it turned out to be a wonderful experience. I reallly enjoy all of the people I work with, and I found that I didn't mind going into work each day. It was such a blessing.
I hope you've all been doing well! Can't wait to catch up on all of your blogs :)
Monday, January 28, 2013
Theme of the month
I don't know if you ladies have ever felt like your semesters have had themes or not (I also don't know how acceptable it is to split your life into semesters once you're out of college but that's consideration for another post. Hahaha), but I feel like a current theme in my life has been friendship. It's been on my mind sooooo much lately, so I figured it made sense to devote a post to it. Hopefully it won't be tooo similar to things I've said in the past, because I realize that this isn't the first time I've written about my thoughts on friendship.
Now on to the new reflections :)
I think I mentioned in my last post that one of the best parts about the conference I went to was the conversations I had with friends. Well, another highlight was a talk I went to about friendship. One of the things the speaker said that really stuck out to me was that we'll likely only have one or two really good, virtuous friends in our lives--friends who will encourage us to grow in holiness, help us become saints, and offer us fraternal corrections when needed. When she said this, I was a little taken aback, not to mention a little disappointed, mostly because those are the kinds of friendships I strive to have. I don't want to have just a bunch of acquaintances who don't really know me. I want to have the kind of virtuous friendships she described. I want friends who will challenge me to become the best version of myself. I want friends who actually want to know how I'm doing when they ask. So that week, while we were still in Orlando, I started thinking of ways to make that happen, and I haven't stopped thinking about it since. Here's what I've been coming up with...
1. Instead of focusing on my lack of friendships at home, I've been concentrating on solidifying the friendships I developed last year. This has been an extremely fruitful exercise. I'm sure part of it has to do with the fact that I'm working now so I don't have as much time to obsess over all the things I'm missing out on by not being around my friends, but I've definitely seen a big difference simply due to the fact that I'm focusing on the positive instead of the negative. Plus, this new outlook has given me the opportunity to get to know my friends better, and it's been so good getting to that next level. I'm hoping to continue the trend with a few more friends each month. It'll definitely be easier with some than others, but I think I'm up for the challenge ;)
2. I've realized, with the help of a wonderful friend (who might be started a blog soon!! eeeeee!!), that I need to consider what wounds from past friendships might be holding me back from becoming better friends with the current people in my life. And not only do I need to recognize them, but I need to be willing to bring them up with the other person so that she can understand where I'm coming from. I hadn't really thought about it before this weekend, but I've actually done that with those few people who I'd consider my closest friends. And now that I know that's what I did, I can continue to do it when I feel like the time is right. Praise God for intuitive friends who are willing to listen to me go on and on about things I've been thinking about!
3. I'm reading A Simple Path by Bl. Mother Teresa, and in the introduction, someone described how people used to feel when she was talking to them. It was something along the lines of Mother Teresa gave her full and undivided attention to the person she was with and made them feel like the most important person in her life. In an effort to emulate her, I decided that anytime I'm talking to someone, I would silence my phone so that I wouldn't be tempted to answer a call or text while we were in the middle of a discussion. Because honestly, there aren't many more annoying things than trying to have a serious conversation with a friend who insists on responding to a text message in the middle of your story. Sure they claim to be listening to you, but we all know we can't listen to someone and type out a message at the same time--neither activity is receiving our full attention so we only end up hearing half of what our friend is saying to us and we end up sending a message that makes no sense. As a result of this newly implemented plan, people have been forced to call the person I'm with to get ahold of me. Hahaha that may or may not defeat the purpose of my exercise...
Well, that's probably enough for now. There's an episode of Parenthood calling my name and I still have to pack my lunch for work tomorrow. Why yes, I have regressed into the 8-year-old version of myself now that I'm working. Hahaha I go to bed at embarrassingly early hours, pick out my clothes the night before, and pack my lunch before going to bed. All normal things, right?
Now on to the new reflections :)
I think I mentioned in my last post that one of the best parts about the conference I went to was the conversations I had with friends. Well, another highlight was a talk I went to about friendship. One of the things the speaker said that really stuck out to me was that we'll likely only have one or two really good, virtuous friends in our lives--friends who will encourage us to grow in holiness, help us become saints, and offer us fraternal corrections when needed. When she said this, I was a little taken aback, not to mention a little disappointed, mostly because those are the kinds of friendships I strive to have. I don't want to have just a bunch of acquaintances who don't really know me. I want to have the kind of virtuous friendships she described. I want friends who will challenge me to become the best version of myself. I want friends who actually want to know how I'm doing when they ask. So that week, while we were still in Orlando, I started thinking of ways to make that happen, and I haven't stopped thinking about it since. Here's what I've been coming up with...
1. Instead of focusing on my lack of friendships at home, I've been concentrating on solidifying the friendships I developed last year. This has been an extremely fruitful exercise. I'm sure part of it has to do with the fact that I'm working now so I don't have as much time to obsess over all the things I'm missing out on by not being around my friends, but I've definitely seen a big difference simply due to the fact that I'm focusing on the positive instead of the negative. Plus, this new outlook has given me the opportunity to get to know my friends better, and it's been so good getting to that next level. I'm hoping to continue the trend with a few more friends each month. It'll definitely be easier with some than others, but I think I'm up for the challenge ;)
2. I've realized, with the help of a wonderful friend (who might be started a blog soon!! eeeeee!!), that I need to consider what wounds from past friendships might be holding me back from becoming better friends with the current people in my life. And not only do I need to recognize them, but I need to be willing to bring them up with the other person so that she can understand where I'm coming from. I hadn't really thought about it before this weekend, but I've actually done that with those few people who I'd consider my closest friends. And now that I know that's what I did, I can continue to do it when I feel like the time is right. Praise God for intuitive friends who are willing to listen to me go on and on about things I've been thinking about!
3. I'm reading A Simple Path by Bl. Mother Teresa, and in the introduction, someone described how people used to feel when she was talking to them. It was something along the lines of Mother Teresa gave her full and undivided attention to the person she was with and made them feel like the most important person in her life. In an effort to emulate her, I decided that anytime I'm talking to someone, I would silence my phone so that I wouldn't be tempted to answer a call or text while we were in the middle of a discussion. Because honestly, there aren't many more annoying things than trying to have a serious conversation with a friend who insists on responding to a text message in the middle of your story. Sure they claim to be listening to you, but we all know we can't listen to someone and type out a message at the same time--neither activity is receiving our full attention so we only end up hearing half of what our friend is saying to us and we end up sending a message that makes no sense. As a result of this newly implemented plan, people have been forced to call the person I'm with to get ahold of me. Hahaha that may or may not defeat the purpose of my exercise...
Well, that's probably enough for now. There's an episode of Parenthood calling my name and I still have to pack my lunch for work tomorrow. Why yes, I have regressed into the 8-year-old version of myself now that I'm working. Hahaha I go to bed at embarrassingly early hours, pick out my clothes the night before, and pack my lunch before going to bed. All normal things, right?
Monday, January 21, 2013
Life Update
Sooooo.....I don't know if you guys remember me or not, but my name is Jordan and a loooooong time ago, I used to be the author of this blog. Then absolutely nothing happened and I didn't post for over than a month. I hope you'll all accept my apologies and welcome me back without any hard feelings. Hahaha and what better way to do that than with a numbered list? ;)
What I've been up to since I last posted:
1. Well, I spent 6 days in Florida at an amazing conference, which you can read about here. In a word it was exactlywhatIneededittobeandmore. (If you say it in one breath, you can pretend it's one word). As you ladies (and whatever men happen to stumble upon this blog...) know, I was having a bit of a rough time last semester. And yes, it's still acceptable to divide your life into semesters even after you've graduated, thank you very much. Anyway, life = not as great as I wanted it to be pre-conference. Then I was surrounded by 6200+ of my closest friends, priests, religious, and missionaries for about a week! Honestly, I don't even know how to describe it, so I'll just focus on the best part for me--the conversations I had. Obviously, the speakers they brought in were phenomenal and I learned so much from them (more on that in a future post perhaps), but I had been yearning for good conversation so much, and I definitely got it. I caught up with friends I hadn't seen in months and others who I'd seen more recently but hadn't had any good heart-to-hearts with. Going into the conference, I prayed that God would bring me genuine joy again, and He went above and beyond that (what a guy ;) ). Soooo yeah. It was amazing. And exactly what I needed before I started my internship.
2. Speaking of internships, I started mine the day after we got back from Seek. Originally I was supposed to start the day we returned, but thankfully, my boss was okay with moving it forward a day! After a 20+ hour bus ride, I definitely needed a day to relax before getting into the swing of things. Anywaaay, I was pretty nervous about this internship. I really didn't have any idea what I would be doing since I've never taken any tax classes or even filed my own taxes. Me and uncertainty don't really mix that well...so I didn't have that great of an attitude about it either. Luckily, it's turned out to be a pretty good experience so far--the people I work with are really nice and very willing to help me out. Plus, they know that I don't have any experience so they're explaining things slowly and not overwhelming me with work (which is both a blessing and a curse since I spend a lot of time just sitting around waiting for them to give me another task...). But! so far, so good. We'll see how crazy it gets once the government finally passes all the tax laws and we can start actually filing this year's returns!
3. I got to spend Friday night celebrating a good friend's birthday and see this girl! After a couple weeks of not seeing my friends, it was great to have an opportunity to spend a good chunk of time with them. Plus we watched Perfect Pitch, which I was a little unsure about but the music was AMAZING!! and it wasn't as inappropriate as I thought it was going to be. Bonus.
4. Then on Saturday, my family celebrated what we like to call Second Christmas. Real original, I know. Since we can't all get together on actual Christmas, we've set up a date in January the past few years so that we can exchange gifts, play games (think Minute to Win It), and enjoy each other's company (sometimes that one is a little questionable. haha). I got all 3 seasons of Parenthood so you better believe that's what I'll be doing this weekend! Plus!!! My grandma got me the 4-volume Liturgy of the Hours set, which I've fallen in love with already. Seems like I should have more to say about this, but how much do I really need to explain opening presents? Haha.
5. Now that I've started my internship and my friend has started student teaching, we've decided to start spiritual bootcamp. Sounds intimidating. Basically we're going to spend the semester (or however long it takes) reading the Diary of St. Faustina. We haven't exactly hashed out all the plans, but I'm really excited to start because I feel like I'll get a lot more out of it (and actually DO the reading) if I've got an accountability partner. I'll keep you posted on how it goes :)
Well, I think that's about it on the updates. I plan on spending my lunch breaks catching up on all the posts I've missed of yours! I hope you all had wonderful Christmas seasons and are surviving this single digit weather (which I am NOT fond of...).
I'll leave you with one of the quotes that stuck out to me at Seek. It's a prayer from St. Anselm:
What I've been up to since I last posted:
1. Well, I spent 6 days in Florida at an amazing conference, which you can read about here. In a word it was exactlywhatIneededittobeandmore. (If you say it in one breath, you can pretend it's one word). As you ladies (and whatever men happen to stumble upon this blog...) know, I was having a bit of a rough time last semester. And yes, it's still acceptable to divide your life into semesters even after you've graduated, thank you very much. Anyway, life = not as great as I wanted it to be pre-conference. Then I was surrounded by 6200+ of my closest friends, priests, religious, and missionaries for about a week! Honestly, I don't even know how to describe it, so I'll just focus on the best part for me--the conversations I had. Obviously, the speakers they brought in were phenomenal and I learned so much from them (more on that in a future post perhaps), but I had been yearning for good conversation so much, and I definitely got it. I caught up with friends I hadn't seen in months and others who I'd seen more recently but hadn't had any good heart-to-hearts with. Going into the conference, I prayed that God would bring me genuine joy again, and He went above and beyond that (what a guy ;) ). Soooo yeah. It was amazing. And exactly what I needed before I started my internship.
2. Speaking of internships, I started mine the day after we got back from Seek. Originally I was supposed to start the day we returned, but thankfully, my boss was okay with moving it forward a day! After a 20+ hour bus ride, I definitely needed a day to relax before getting into the swing of things. Anywaaay, I was pretty nervous about this internship. I really didn't have any idea what I would be doing since I've never taken any tax classes or even filed my own taxes. Me and uncertainty don't really mix that well...so I didn't have that great of an attitude about it either. Luckily, it's turned out to be a pretty good experience so far--the people I work with are really nice and very willing to help me out. Plus, they know that I don't have any experience so they're explaining things slowly and not overwhelming me with work (which is both a blessing and a curse since I spend a lot of time just sitting around waiting for them to give me another task...). But! so far, so good. We'll see how crazy it gets once the government finally passes all the tax laws and we can start actually filing this year's returns!
3. I got to spend Friday night celebrating a good friend's birthday and see this girl! After a couple weeks of not seeing my friends, it was great to have an opportunity to spend a good chunk of time with them. Plus we watched Perfect Pitch, which I was a little unsure about but the music was AMAZING!! and it wasn't as inappropriate as I thought it was going to be. Bonus.
4. Then on Saturday, my family celebrated what we like to call Second Christmas. Real original, I know. Since we can't all get together on actual Christmas, we've set up a date in January the past few years so that we can exchange gifts, play games (think Minute to Win It), and enjoy each other's company (sometimes that one is a little questionable. haha). I got all 3 seasons of Parenthood so you better believe that's what I'll be doing this weekend! Plus!!! My grandma got me the 4-volume Liturgy of the Hours set, which I've fallen in love with already. Seems like I should have more to say about this, but how much do I really need to explain opening presents? Haha.
5. Now that I've started my internship and my friend has started student teaching, we've decided to start spiritual bootcamp. Sounds intimidating. Basically we're going to spend the semester (or however long it takes) reading the Diary of St. Faustina. We haven't exactly hashed out all the plans, but I'm really excited to start because I feel like I'll get a lot more out of it (and actually DO the reading) if I've got an accountability partner. I'll keep you posted on how it goes :)
Well, I think that's about it on the updates. I plan on spending my lunch breaks catching up on all the posts I've missed of yours! I hope you all had wonderful Christmas seasons and are surviving this single digit weather (which I am NOT fond of...).
I'll leave you with one of the quotes that stuck out to me at Seek. It's a prayer from St. Anselm:
O my God teach my heart where and how to seek you,
where and how to find you…
where and how to find you…
You are my God and you are my All and I have never seen you.
You have made me and remade me,
You have bestowed on me all the good things I possess,
Still I do not know you…
You have made me and remade me,
You have bestowed on me all the good things I possess,
Still I do not know you…
I have not yet done that for which I was made….
Teach me to seek you…
Teach me to seek you…
I cannot seek you unless you teach me
or find you unless you show yourself to me.
Let me seek you in my desire, let me desire you in my seeking.
Let me find you by loving you, let me love you when I find you.
or find you unless you show yourself to me.
Let me seek you in my desire, let me desire you in my seeking.
Let me find you by loving you, let me love you when I find you.
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Patron saint of the year
We're five hours into our 22 hour drive. So far we've made one stop for dinner (aka a strawberry smoothie and a bagel), prayed a bus rosary, and met our fellow riders via "speed dating." But then we did something cool! A Christmas bag was passed around with a bunch of saint names in it and we were all asked to pick one to be our patron saint for the year. I ended up with Saint Margaret of Scotland, who I actually don't know anything about. So now I get to spend the year learning about a wonderful woman and asking her to pray for me.
Oh! And we also got an intention to pray for on our sheets. Mine is for big families. Not quite sure what that has to do with me but I'm excited to discover it this year :)
By the way, we'll be spending a lot of time in adoration this week so please let me know if you have anything you need extra prayers for. Know that I'm keeping you all in my prayers for things you've expressed in the past. I hope to keep you updated on all the amazing things that are sure to happen!
Oh! And we also got an intention to pray for on our sheets. Mine is for big families. Not quite sure what that has to do with me but I'm excited to discover it this year :)
By the way, we'll be spending a lot of time in adoration this week so please let me know if you have anything you need extra prayers for. Know that I'm keeping you all in my prayers for things you've expressed in the past. I hope to keep you updated on all the amazing things that are sure to happen!